Toxic Relationships That We Love

I am sure we all have some experiences of being involved in toxic relationships that were difficult to get rid of. Not by force, but because we actually LOVED those relationships. I know it may sound crazy to love something that is not good for you -the truth is we do it every day. From what we eat to the things that we do to our bodies. This has been an area of my life that held me captive for a long time.

Sure, I asked myself over a thousand times “why do I like being a part of these toxic relationships?” Now when I mention “relationships” I do not mean just romantic but friendships as well. Whew! Not only did it take one, but about three toxic relationships later when I was able to understand why I did. Believe it or not, it was because of hope. I had hope as small as a mustard seed that things would be different or that I could change him/her. But that hope was hiding the root, which was fear.

Yep, I said it fear! I was afraid to let go because I did not think it could get any better for me. I use to say things like, “this is as good as it gets Ty, suck it up and take it or be alone.” Some of you who will read this and know me personally may be surprised that I struggled. I struggled with this fear because I could never fit in. Tried dating the brotha with the gangsta lean, tried befriending the baddest chicks, tried to keep up because I was afraid to stand alone and be different.

How did I get out and make it through? I got tired, and you will too! I got tired of trying to squeeze my square into a circle. I got tired of investing in relationships/friendships that did not serve me well. I became so damn restless, it almost killed me. Matter of fact it did, well parts of me. It killed my dreams, hopes, and desires, I gave it all too much power to do even that. I had to change, I wanted out.

Where am I now? Dodging toxic relationships like a mug lol. Doing so by being a good investor. I was good at investing but not a good investor, if that makes sense. Praying about those I allow in my space, surrounding myself around others who share the same interests, and simply not being afraid to be Tysheira, Ty, TyTy all day every day, haha. What about you? Are you currently struggling with this or have in the past, how did you make it through? Let me know in the comments.

 

As always, leave inspired!

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12 Comments

  1. I absolutely love your rawness and truth! I, too, have struggled with fear. I always hung with people I knew I truly didn’t fit in with simply of afraid of being abandoned, betrayed, or being alone! Thanks for sharing Ty! You’re amazing!!

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  2. Thanks for sharing! I know toxic relationships all too well.. but they key of how I got out like you said is getting over that fear. I tied my identity to those toxic people and once I found out that I would be okay and life goes on without them I became the best version of me I have seen so far. I’m still learning how to be authentically me and love myself more so I can combat any other toxic person that tries to enter into my space… so far so good, but it’s stkll a process 🙂

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  3. I agree that hope and fear are overpowering emotions in relationships. I have struggled with this because I am hoping to find my core people who are great motivators and supporters, which can cause me to ignore red flags that it’s not gonna be. I recently started a new job, so I am practicing mindfulness with building new relationships.

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  4. Thankfully, I’ve never had a toxic romantic relationship. Whew! Dodged that bullet.

    If I’ve ever had a “toxic” friendship, I only tolerated it was because I didn’t know how to end it without making an enemy- Not because I loved the toxicity. Thank goodness for maturity. I now know how to tell someone to take a long walk on a short bridge with such kindness, that they thank me for suggesting it. LOL!

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